We all know that muesli contains a ton of sugar. We know this but as it is full of goodness we don’t want to admit it. Well, the clever squirrels at The Muesli have created a 97% sugar free recipe and asked us to create some funny shorts to show you.
Our Matt animated a handful of tasty nuts in a series of films aimed to amuse and educate.
Chaps and chapettes! For those not in animation but into animation you can now learn how to make ‘a cartoon in After Effects’. Designed for beginners by the funny and talented Ross Plaskow, here is your tutorial!
(BTW, he says ‘tutorial’ in a strange way with too focus on the ‘tu’, if you ignore that this is a very good film)
Ladies and gentlemen! Behold! The fat and forty Bastard Bunny in Boozers Ain’t Wot They Used To Be. If you missed the TV premiere of the animation on Channel 4’s Random Acts, here it is in its comedic glory.
Incidentally, if you happen to be heading to Comic Con in Birmingham this weekend you can meet writer, Dave Anderson, and get a signed copy of the comic.
You already know serious-judoist Rexley and the hard-warring Peaches… now meet Bloodbag ‘the meat thief’. To find out more about his meaty escapades you’ll have to pop down to the TV pilot premiere of Crime & Punishment at The Old Queen’s Head.
The next day I saw the most intense show I have ever seen or probably will ever see. It’s called Nirbhaya. The premise is that the recent Dehli bus gang rape sparked outrage in India and women are coming forward with their own stories of abuse. 5 women individually spoke of their feelings of the incident and then spoke about their own experiences. Husbands, fathers, uncles. Abuse. Lots and lots of horrific abuse stories which were then reenacted by the women. Tense. TENSE. It was only when one of the women, a burn victim, started saying her story that I realised these women weren’t actresses. They were telling their own stories. This woman wasn’t accidentally burned and then decided to use it as a niche in show business. No. Her husband poured kerosine on her, burned her alive and then left with her child. It was very VERY powerful stuff. All the women sat around me in the audience cried from beginning to end and it definitely made a mark on me. Go see it. Nirbhaya. Google showings of it now.
Half an hour after Nirbhaya (go see it) I saw light-hearted comedian Milton Jones in the same theatre space as the gangrape-monologue-play Nirbhaya (seen it yet?). Needless to say, it wasn’t the most powerful thing I’d seen that day. In fact his jokes were a little tame, boring, and ultimately lacked a sense of purpose. Why was I there? Why? Watching this man make puns? Women are being raped in Dehli daily… Dehli daily… Dehli Daily… that’s a good name for a newspaper. * star
Later that night I saw Boris and Sergey part 2. It was similar to their first show. Too similar. In fact 15 minutes of this 50 minute show was spent recapping what happened in the previous show! And the sweat. The countless beads of thick sweaty gravy pouring down this mans face. The salt, salty, SALT FILLED sweatlets (sweaty droplets). Combine my sweat-anxiousness with the gang-rape-doom from earlier and the purposelessness of Milton Jones and I don’t need to tell you Reader, I slept like a fucking baby that night.
The next day I saw a circus act called Circa which was more sexual that circus. Striptease trapeze anyone? It was alright. Expensive. Also in various parts of the performance they insisted on sniffing balloons up their noses and pulling them out their mouths. Snot. That’s another thing I can’t stand. Snot and sweat. Dripping…pouring… sodden.
After that I saw comedian Tom Rosenthal (Friday Night Dinner / Plebs). He was funny… but used a lot of football based humour. I dislike most laddy sports. He did a similar thing to Paul Foot at one point and got in a woman’s face for ages. I found it hilarious. I think I only find getting in women’s faces hilarious these days.
Finally the last show I saw was the Chortle Student Comedy awards. I forget everyone’s named but Rio Bauer won. She was very funny and surreal. I want to compare her to Rebel Wilson strictly on her comedy style… But I don’t want to compare her to Rebel Wilson because they are both blonde women… because that would seem bigoted.
Then I went home… Antiperspirant clutched tightly to my chest like mace… ready to spray any comedic fucker’s face.
Hello!! So I went to Edinburgh for a long weekend and managed to see a fair bit of talent. Firstly Edinburgh is hilly and has a large castle bang in the centre of it so if you want to go from one side of Edinburgh to the other you technically have to walk around this massive fucking castle… which is fine… I’m totally fit these days.
The first act I saw ended up being the funniest of the whole weekend. Paul Foot, who I’m now a fan of. One gag which I found particularly hilarious was when he spoke about a bad review he’d just received for the show he was performing there in front of us. He then assumed a woman on the front row was also a critic for another newspaper and basically screamed at her with his forehead touching hers saying stuff like “last night’s performance was dreadful, he was just screaming at a woman in the front row, abysmal performance, 3 stars”. ***** stars.
That same night we saw some comedy puppetry by the name of Boris and Sergey performed by Flabbergast Theater. It was funny and felt current even though the style appeared dated. My one qualm was that I couldn’t stop staring at the main puppeteers sweat beads as they sloooowly dripped down his face onto the end of his nose and chin and then one by one dripped off. I was laughing at the show, yes, but every thirty seconds or so I was also feeling sick at the thought of maybe catching one of those salty droplets in my mouth or eye and then it entering my bloodstream. Disgraceful. *** stars.
The next night I saw the Boy With Tape on His Face. This was family friendly and therefore wasn’t actually that funny. The whole show was based on audience participation which, if the Boy had spoken to explain instructions instead of gesturing with his eyes, would have been one of the most terrible shows I’d ever seen… terrible for the Chuckle Brothers in a Bingo Hall in Essex terrible. I was actually called up on stage at one point to catch a ball in a dust pan on the end of a stick. I was positioned by the “Boy” and gestured to stay in place whilst another audience member punted ping pong balls towards my pan, missing terribly. Realising he was terrible I attempted a catch. The Boy With Tape on His Face was not happy and gave me a harsh look to STAY THE FUCK STILL. After literally 10 more failed tries I could hear thick Scottish accents from the crowd "just fucking catch it you cunt" etc. I tried. And failed. It was the worst part of the show. I hate that Boy. He sweated a lot too but luckily he was at a distance. I think he also carried a towel.
Bo Burnham was a fantastic show, well written, planned, timed and executed. He is the greatest comedic talent in showbusiness in my opinion and he isn’t even 23 yet. That being said, as I’m such a massive fan, I had watched the entire show on Youtube a few days before so wasn’t really laughing my head off. ALSO the sound was too quiet in the hall which also fucked with me because I knew what the show sounded like when it sounded good and that was not it. He’s fantastic and everyone should look him up immediately on Youtube.
Part 2 on Thursday… trust us it get serious and funny. A lot of both.
Here’s a sneaky peek at the final Bastard Bunny comic cover! ‘Things Ain’t Wot They Used To Be’ will be out in all good comic & books shops very soon. Brilliantly written by our very own Dave Anderson with super illustrations by David Lopez Retamero, the book promises ‘fat and forty’ hilarity from the first page.
Keep an eye out on news of launch date on the Bastard’s very own Facebook page.